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Letting Your Ward Come Out Is A Sign Of Maturity

 Jun 21, 2022


  • The social mindset in most countries is still not welcoming towards people with different sexual orientations.
  • Teenagers exploring their sexuality still find it difficult to come out to their parents as they are not sure how their parents would react.
  • Parents need to react carefully to the news and choose their words carefully.
  • There are some tips to follow which can smoothen the environment for both parents as well as wards so that coming out does not cause outrage.

Although today the world is more accepting of the sexual minorities, the mindset of most people is still such that being having a different kind of sexual orientation is still not seen as something to be proud of. That is why, when some children especially teenagers start to understand their sexuality and realize that it is different from what most people see as “normal”, coming out even to their parents is dilemma for them. 

In an Indian web series titled as The Fame Game, a key subplot was about the son of a Bollywood celebrity feeling afraid to come out to her mother, even though his affectionate mother is supportive and is certain to shows her support when she finds out. The boy is afraid of his male chauvinist father whose abusive nature shows that he would never be supportive towards his son. This happens in the lives of many teenagers who are trying to figure out that how to come out to parents. They are hoping that at least one parent would be supportive. Family is all that LGBTQ teens count on for support when they plan to come out. As the reaction of parents is crucial to the teens, parents need to choose they word or plan their reaction to the shocking news carefully.

Following are few tips that a parent needs to follow so that it would be possible to react in such a way that his/her would feel comfortable to come out.

1. Let the ward lead the way:

It is possible that a parent might have suspicions about his/her child being gay or someone with a different sexuality. When the child comes out, parent should listen and let the child speak whatever he/she has planned to speak. He/she should not interrupt the child and let the child speak. Parents also need to avoid statements like “I already knew” or “I had my suspicions”.

2. Stay calm:

In movies and TV shows, it is common to see a teenager coming out and his/her parents being outraged on this revelation. However, in real life, parents need to stay calm and listen to their ward. They should nod to make their child feel that they are listening. They should speak only after the boy/girl has finished speaking.

3. Be ready:

If parents have their suspicions or even confirmations about their ward being LGBTQ, then they should wait for them to come out to them. Occasionally, parents should reassure children that support for them (children) would be available when they need it.

4. No instant reactions:

Instant reaction might result into something that can hurt the ward psychologically. Parents should think before doing anything.

5. No gay jokes:

If a parent has his/her doubts and if he/she is waiting for child to come out, then he/she should not share gay jokes at home as this can make the child feel that coming out would make the child, unacceptable or unwanted in the family.

6. Asking ward that who else knows:

It is possible that ward might have already come out to someone else. According to a study, most LGBTQ children often come out to their close friends or some grandparent that they are very close to. If parents ask how and why did their ward choose the first person to come out to, then it makes the child feel that parents would have been supportive of their decision.

7. Motivating children:

Parents should motivate children and boost their confidence. Confident children know how to handle unpleasant situations that gay people often face.

At HelloDr, there are psychologists who not only guide children about finding right time to come out to ensure that coming out does not cause any awkward situation, but they also help parents to figure out replies and moves to make the environment comfortable for child appear more accepting towards the child. Right counselling can help parents to find the right way and words to say in order to tell their child that no matter what the sexual orientation of their child is, they would still love him/her. Visit HelloDr website today.